SPY DATE
by phantomoftheopera111
Summary: Story 47. After Harley finds a new guy friend, Ivy and Selina follow them out on their date, like good over-protective friends.


More stories! Hurray! Ok, I would like to dedicate this one to my faithful story "favorite-ers". That's not a word, but that's fine! So thank you, GhostAuthor, for all the favs. It mean a lot to me. :)

Now, onto the story! This one follows after Harley found a new possible date.

Confession: I fail at writing Harley. I probably destroyed her character the most in these stories and I feel bad. I love Harley, I just feel like so many people write her she's not... "unique" any more. Yes, I understand I could fix this, but she's just obviously not my absolute favorite character anyways.

None-the-less, enjoy!

* * *

SPY DATE

* * *

Harley fixed her bra and pulled her strapless dress up. She swung her hair which was up in a ponytail and had been curled. She reapplied her red lipstick and smiled at herself in the mirror.

She walked down the hallway and into the living room, "Where's Red?"

Selina looked up from the couch, "I dunno…"

Harley frowned, "Thanks for the help Kitty."

"You look hot as hell."

Harley smiled and gave Selina a pose. Her dress was a red knee-long dress with black trim and a black bow.

Yesterday Ivy called both the girls and told them that they could come back to the apartment, she was tired of making up her birthday surprise. Harley and Selina both moved back in as quickly as they could.

Ivy walked into the kitchen, "Damn Harl."

"Oh there you are! What?"

"You look hot!"

"Thanks!" Harley grinned.

"He's not gonna be able to keep his hands offa you," Selina commented.

Harley blushed, "That'd be nice."

Ivy laughed and walked into the living room, "What'd you need?"

"I needed your consent on the dress, Selina's consent, and a guy's opinion."

"Harvey get out here!" Ivy yelled down the hallway.

"I'm busy," Harvey muttered.

"Get out here."

"I can't move my legs."

Ivy growled, "Get out here or I will drag you out here."

Harvey sighed and got off of the computer he walked down the hallway and into the living room, "What?"

"What do ya think?" Harley asked.

"My opinion or a guy's opinion?"

"Either one."

"Pammy, you are not allowed to hit me."

"Fine," Ivy laughed sitting next to Selina.

Harvey circled Harley looking at her.

Harley giggled, "You are freaking me out."

"From where I come from first dates are very, very important."

"Oh…"

"Alright," Harvey began, "Red makes you look like a slut."

"EXCUSE ME!" Harley screamed.

Harvey put his hands up for defense, "You didn't let me finish!"

"The red make your look desirable, then the pony tail makes you look sophisticated which will make any guy want you more because being sophisticated makes you seem harder to get, like you are harder than the red dress."

Harley nodded and grinned, "I like it."

Harvey sighed, "Thank God."

The front door buzzed Harley giggled, "I'm gonna go meet him downstairs, wish me luck!"

Ivy and Selina embraced Harley in a good luck bear hug. Harley walked over to Harvey who had his arms crossed.

Harley uncrossed them and gave Harvey a kiss on his good cheek, "Thanks for the help!"

"Mhmm," Harvey mumbled.

After Harley left Selina and Ivy both turned to face Harvey.

"What?" Harvey asked.

Ivy and Selina both moved sexily to Harvey. Selina took Harvey's right side and Ivy took the left.

"Do you like sophisticated woman?" Selina asked.

"Yes I do."

Ivy giggled, "Are we sophisticated?"

"You are, but Selina…"

Selina gasped and laughed, "You dick!"

Harvey laughed and moved over to the couch. Ivy and Selina followed. Harvey sat down and crossed his legs. Selina looked at Ivy and sat down. Ivy rested her head on Harvey's left shoulder; Selina did the same on the right side.

"I don't think I like it that you girls are being all lovey-dovey with me. It's actually freaking me out."

Ivy smiled, "Selina and I are going out."

"We are?" Selina asked.

Ivy glared at her.

"Oh, I mean, yeah we're going out!"

Harvey rolled his eyes, "Very subtle. Where you girls going?"

"Around," Ivy replied.

"Are you going to sell yourselves on the street?"

Selina glared at him and bit his neck.

Harvey pushed Selina off the couch, "You don't bit me!"

Ivy put one of her hands on Harvey's chest, protectively, "I'm the only one who can bite him."

Harvey sighed.  
Ivy got up, "Let's go."

"Are we gonna get dressed?"

Ivy looked down at her baggy sweatpants, "Nah."

"So we're going to the restaurant 'Dominique's' dressed like fat people?"

Harvey frowned, "Hey, I wear sweatpants and I am very fit."

Selina ignored his comment and shoved a pillow in his face.

Ivy sighed, "Fine. Let me go get dressed."

Selina followed after Ivy and they headed to their rooms to find dresses.

* * *

Harley giggled, "Seriously she said that?"

Anthony nodded, "Yeah. She refused to believe the mole on her nose was cancerous."

Harley grinned and took a sip of her wine.

"You look beautiful tonight."

"Thank you."

"Red looks great on you."

Harley smiled, "You look handsome tonight."

"Thanks. I haven't unpacked much yet, this was at the top of my box."

Harley smiled and looked at the floor. Anthony smiled and put his hand on top of hers.

Harley looked at his hand and smiled at him.

"So," Anthony continued, "Do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah, I have a sister. I haven't seen her for ages though. After I got sent to Arkham my parents stopped talking to me then the rest of my family. How about you?"

"Mom and dad and I have a twin brother."

"Oh really? Identical or fraternal?"

"We're fraternal."

"That is awesome; I always wished I had a twin."

"Yeah, we get along really well oddly enough."

"What's his name?"

"Vincent. What's your sister's name?"

"Nessa."

"So are you religious?"

"Mm, not really, I am Jewish though…"

"That's awesome. I'm not very religious."

Harley nodded, "You celebrate Christmas?"

"Yeah."

"Fun, I celebrate Christmas for the hell for it. None of my friends celebrate Hanukah."

"Well I'll celebrate it with you!"

"Harley grinned, "I'd like that. So are you Italian?"

"Yep. My family comes from Sicily."

"That is awesome, do you speak Italian?"

"Yep."

"Say something."

"It's gonna be really cheesy though…"

"I don't care. Cheesy stuff is romantic to me."

"Ok. Sei la donna più bella che ho visto."

Harley thought, "I heard woman and beautiful in there."

"I said you are the most beautiful woman I've seen."

Harley blushed, "Oh Anthony…"

Anthony smiled and shrugged, "So have you traveled anywhere?"

"Yeah, I've been all over the U.S. California, Washington, New York, Texas, Florida, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Nevada, Hawaii, Maryland, New Hampshire, both of the Virginias, and Massachusetts."

"Wow, ever been out of the country?"

"I went to England during college and that is it."

"So mostly in the U.S.?"

"Yep. How about you?"

"I've been on every continent except Antarctica."

"Holy crap! Give me some places."

"Lots of places in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Egypt, France, Spain, Italy, England, Scotland, Ireland, Japan, Australia, New Zealand… Lots of places."

"Wow, that is totally awesome!"

Anthony smiled, "I like traveling."

"I can tell."

"If you could go one place where would you like to go?"

"I have to choose one?"

"You can choose as many as you want."

"I want to go to Italy, Spain, France, Germany, Ireland, Scotland, and England."

"Wow."

"If you could go somewhere again where would you go?"

"Italy. It's my home."

Harley nodded.

"Tell me about your friends."

Harley smiled, "Let's began with Red."

"I take it she's the redhead?"

"Yep. He real name is Pamela she grew up in Seattle moved her once she graduated college, she is like a sister to me, she's always been there for me, she'd do anything, we'll I think she'd do anything for me…"

Anthony smiled

"She is dating a guy named Harvey, you'll meet him later. We call her crazy plant lady."

"She likes plants?"

"Yep. Living ones though. Never give her a dead plant; she'll kill you before you can make your next move."

"Good advice."

"Yeah. We've had people make that mistake before. They wound up in the hospital with a broken limb or two."

"My God…"

Their food arrived and they began eating.

* * *

Selina lowered the wine menu and looked over.

"You see her?" Ivy asked taking a bit of her ravioli.

"Yep. She's sitting there. Laughing."

"Good. You gonna eat that?" Ivy asked nodding to Selina's plate of lasagna.

"Yes I am. Why are you so hungry? Have you been starving yourself?"

"No. I think I'm PMSing."

"How fun," Selina mumbled taking a bit from the food.

Ivy looked at Harley, "I'm glad she found a new man."

"Jack isn't healthy. He wasn't making her healthier."

"No he wasn't."

"OW! OW! OW!" Selina yelped.

Ivy looked up and began laughing. Selina had dropped a piece of her lasagna down the front of her dress. It had hit above her breast bone and slid down her chest and down her dress' front.

Ivy handed her a napkin and Selina fished the piece out.

"Can you make more of a mess?" Ivy asked giggling.

"Can you shut up?" Selina snapped back.

Ivy snickered again, "The food is supposed to go in your mouth."

Selina stared at Ivy until she stopped laughing.

"Sorry," Ivy mumbled through another bite of food.

Selina sighed and looked at Harley. She dug her fork into the lasagna and put it to her mouth, "Oh shit!"

Ivy looked up. Selina had dropped the lasagna on the lap of her dress.

"Damn it!" Selina pouted.

Ivy moved her napkin to her lips to hide her grin.

Selina looked up at her, "Go to hell."

"It's not paint, its food."

Selina got up, "I'm going to the bathroom."

"Want me to help you clean it off?"

"Yes Ivy, I would love for you to clean lasagna off my crotch."

Ivy started laughing even harder now. Selina growled and walked off.

Ivy took a bite of Selina's lasagna, "Hmm… that's good."

"What are you doing?"  
Ivy sighed, "Hi Harvey."

Harvey sat down across from Ivy in Selina's seat, "Once again, what are you doing?"

"Nice to see you here."

"Answer the question."

Ivy looked up at him, "We wanted to see how Harley's first date was going."

Harvey nodded, "Right."

Ivy looked at him, "Love is a very important thing to girls."

Harvey raised his eyebrow.

"Girls stick together for love."

Harvey sighed, "So you are stalking Harley?"

Ivy bit her lip, "Not exactly stalking…"

"You stalked her here with her date."

"Stalking sounds so… wrong," Ivy sighed.

Harvey looked at her and said nothing. Ivy pouted and rested her head on her hands.

Selina walked back over, "Uh… did you stalk us Harvey?"  
"Yes. I stalked you girls stalking Harley."

Selina frowned, "Stalking is such an ugly word."

Harvey sighed and moved over to the seat next to Ivy.

"Can we order some wine first before you take us home?" Ivy asked.

Harvey looked at the, "Who said we were going home instantly?"

"We're staying?" Selina grinned.

"No, I'm taking my two lady friends to the movies."

Ivy giggled, "What movie are we seeing?"

"I don't know. Whatever one you want to see."

"We should go to check the movie times," Selina replied.

"But I wanted wine," Ivy pouted.

"Babe you've already got a whine going on."

Ivy glared at Harvey and punched his shoulder.

"I was just kidding!"

Ivy frowned and crossed her arms.

Harvey wrapped one of his arms around her and pulled her close to him, he kissed her forehead, "I'm sure we have wine at home."

Ivy's mood perked up, "Ok."

Selina grabbed her purse, "Let's go."

"Shouldn't we pay?" Harvey asked.

Selina frowned, "Damn. Let's pay, then go."

* * *

Harvey grumbled and looked at the movie ticket prices.

Ivy rested her head on Harvey's shoulder, "What's wrong?"

"Why are tickets so damn pricey?"

Selina sighed, "Just pay for the damn tickets and let's go."

"Oh hell, like I'm paying!"

Ivy growled, "Be a gentleman Harvey."

"I am a gentleman."

"Prove it," Selina smirked.

Harvey glared at her and paid for the three tickets.

Ivy took Harvey's hand and the three walked into the theatre.

"Do we get to buy popcorn?" Selina asked.

"No," Harvey growled walking to give the tickets to the ticket taker.

Ivy grabbed his arm, "Please?"

Selina grabbed Harvey's other arm and gave Harvey a puppy dog face.

Harvey closed his eyes, "Fine."

Selina and Ivy both ran to the concession stand to have Harvey buy popcorn for them. Harvey sighed and followed after the girls.

Once they had bought the popcorn they walked over to the ticket taker and gave him their tickets.

"What are we even seeing?" Harvey asked.

"The Ugly Truth," Ivy smiled.

Harvey looked around for a way to get out, "I'm not seeing a chick flick."

"Well now you are," Selina grinned.

The girls drug Harvey into the theatre. They took a seat in the middle. There was almost no one else in the theatre. The only other people were sitting in the back.

Harvey saw the two couples of teenagers making out in the back, "Good God…"

Selina rolled her eyes, "Like you guys aren't worse."

"We have some sense of decency," Ivy mumbled.

"Some sense? What about the Iceberg?"

Ivy turned to Harvey, "We need to do that again."

Harvey nodded, "But didn't you and Brucie do it in the Opera?"

Selina grinned, "Ohhh yeahhh."

Ivy frowned, "Have some decency Selina!"

Selina laughed.

"I hate trailers," Harvey grumbled.

Ivy sighed, "I want popcorn."

"No."

Ivy glared at him, "Give me popcorn!"

"No."

Ivy crossed her arms and looked away.

"Oh c'mon Pammy!"

Selina laughed, "It is so funny to watch you two. You bicker like a married couple. All I need is some popcorn and this moment will be the best ever…"

Harvey put his hands over the popcorn, "No."

Ivy growled and leaned across Harvey and punched Selina in the arm.

"Words not fists Pammy," Harvey sighed.

Ivy looked at him, "Don't start."

Harvey put the popcorn on his lap and began eating it.

"Oh hell no!" Ivy laughed grabbing for the popcorn.

"Hey it's my money and I want first dibs."

Selina reached under Harvey's arm while he and Ivy were arguing and began eating from the popcorn.

Harvey looked over, "No way."

Selina smiled with a mouthful of popcorn.

Harvey sighed, "Fine. Just eat it."

Ivy grinned sexily and dug her hand to the bottom of the popcorn bowl, which was resting on Harvey's lap.

Harvey jumped forward and stared at Ivy, who just smiled back. Harvey put his tongue in his cheek and put his arm around Ivy.

Selina looked over, "What just happened?"

Ivy removed her hand from the popcorn bowl and shrugged, "Nothing."

Selina rolled her eyes, "Yeah right."

Harvey leaned to Ivy, "We could go join the make out group in the back.  
Ivy giggled and kissed Harvey, "We can just do it here."

"If I were you guys I would not have sex on the floor. There's a lot of shit and crap down there," Selina mumbled watching the trailers.

Harvey looked on the floor, "She's right."

"I don't want gum in my hair," Ivy frowned.

Selina rolled her eyes, "Ivy, promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Don't touch Harvey during the movie. I don't want to look over and see something I really don't need to see."

Harvey scratched his neck and looked at the ceiling.

Selina frowned, "Ew."

Ivy rolled her eyes, "Shut up Selina."

"No you shut up."

"My name is Selina and I'm spoiled."

"My name is Ivy and I am OCD."

"My name is Selina and I like to mate with whales."

Harvey raised his eyebrow.

Selina continued, "My name is Ivy and when I get bored I put pieces of ice down my pants and think of it as sexual. I call it the Ice Game."

"My name is Selina and I'm a whore!"

Harvey sighed, "That's enough."

Both the girls glared at Harvey.

Harvey bit his lip, "Alright sorry."

"My name is Ivy and my boyfriend needs to butt out."

Harvey scoffed.

"My name is Selina and I use my boobs to get into men's pants."

"My name is Ivy and I am such a ho I go to bars and use skimpy dresses to get numbers from random guys and don't tell my boyfriend because I'm too much of a skank!"

"SAY WHAT?" Harvey growled.

Ivy glared at Selina, "My name is Selina and I'm the world's biggest whore. I've slept with over 100 men!"

"My name is Ivy and-"

"That's enough," Harvey interrupted.

Selina glared at Harvey, "My name is Ivy and I'm a bimbo."

Ivy opened her mouth to retort back. Harvey took a fistful of popcorn and put it into Ivy's mouth. Ivy growled at Harvey.

"You are to say nothing," Harvey exhaled.

Selina frowned and crossed her arms. Ivy did the same.

Harvey draped his arms across both the girls' shoulders, "C'mon girls. You can't be mad at each other."

"Yes I can," Selina growled.

"If she can so can I," Ivy replied sharply.

Harvey sighed, "Please make up?"

The girls looked at each other.

"I'm sorry!" Ivy moped.

"Me too!" Selina cried.

The girls embraced each other over Harvey, knocking over the half empty popcorn bowl.

"There goes the popcorn," Harvey sighed.

Selina sniffed, "Poor popcorn."

Ivy giggled, and pulled Harvey into the hug.

"Kill me," Harvey frowned.

"You need to see the movie first."

"When is it starting?"

Selina and Ivy released Harvey and they sat back up.

"Oh shit!" Ivy yelped dropping to the ground.

"What?" Harvey asked.

"Duck!" Ivy grabbed Harvey's tie and pulled him down.

"What the hell you guys! I said don't do that!" Selina lectured.

"Pull Selina down here!" Ivy whispered.

"Oh no! I have a boyfriend! I am good to him and he is good to me! We have a monogamous relationship!"

Harvey rolled his eyes and pulled Selina next to them

"You know I am wearing an expensive dress!"

"Yeah, with pasta sauce on your crotch!" Ivy whispered fiercely.

"Shut up! What the hell has gotten into you?"

"Harley and Anthony just walked into the theatre!"

"Bullshit!" Harvey laughed looking over the seat.

Ivy poked her head above the seat, "There they are!"

Selina looked over, "Oh my God…"

"So uh, why can't we let her see us?" Harvey asked.

Ivy and Selina both stared at Harvey, saying nothing.

"What?" Harvey whined.

Selina looked back over to Harley, and then up at the movie screen, "Oh damn it… the movie's starting."

"So are we gonna watch the movie here on the floor?" Harvey asked.

Ivy glared at him, "Yeah Harvey."

"I was just asking!"

Ivy sat back up in her seat, Selina followed.

"I think I'll just sit here," Harvey grumbled, "All the popcorn is here anyways."

Ivy pulled him up into his seat. Harvey sighed and wiped popcorn off his pants.

Selina stood up and looked at her dress's back, "Damn!"

Ivy giggled, "You have gum on your ass."

Harvey laughed, "That is hot Selina."

"Oh my God! Take it off!"

"I'm not touching your ass," Harvey smirked.

Selina glared at him, "I'll take it out later."

Ivy smirked, "Shh, the movie is starting."

Harvey watched Anthony do the yawn and put his arm around Harley's shoulders move. Harvey smirked, "Yeah that was smooth. Dumb ass."

Ivy looked at him, "It is cute."

"Yeah uh huh, sure."

Selina looked over, "You're just jealous Harv."

"Of what?"

Selina grinned and moved her gaze to the screen.

"This is boring."

"Will you shut up, it hasn't started yet!"

Harvey groaned and said nothing. He looked at the ceiling and yawned.

Ivy looked at Harvey after he had put his arms back on his lap.

"What now?" Harvey asked.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Put your arm around me!"

"Oh…" Harvey mumbled putting his arm around Ivy.

Selina looked over, "I need some love too!"

Harvey sighed and put his other arm around Selina. Ivy and Selina smiled and snuggled to Harvey. Harvey shook his head and smiled.

* * *

Harvey stood up, "That was lame."

Ivy stretched, "You are so negative!"

"It was lame. It was all… girlish."

"I liked it!" Selina smiled.

"It wasn't good!"

"You are a guy; guys don't like things like this."

"Then why did Harvey cry at the end of Moulin Rouge?" Ivy asked.

Harvey stared at her.

Selina laughed, "Oh God! No way!"

Harvey crossed his arms.

Ivy giggled, "Yeah. He said he had something in his eye."

Selina giggled, "Oh Harvey, you are so manly."

"Ya know what? Be quiet."

Selina put a hand over her mouth to hide her giggles.

Ivy bit her lip to stop the laughing and rubbed Harvey's arm, "I still love you."

Harvey glared at her, "Can we go home?"

"Yes, we can go home," Selina smirked getting up.

"Wait, we have to wait until Harley and Anthony leave," Ivy reminded.

Harvey sighed, "Maybe we can sneak out as he's sticking his tongue down her throat."

"Ew," Selina replied.

"What? It's not like you don't do it," Ivy added.

"I have class."

"You mean Bruce has class, if it was up to you, you would have Bruce anytime anywhere," Harvey smirked.

Selina punched his arm, "Shut up."

Harvey rubbed his arm.

"Ok children, stop fighting or else I'll whip you both upside the head," Ivy said putting her hands on her hips.

"Yes mom," Selina replied looking down at the ground.

"Hey… I'm not your kid…" Harvey frowned.

"No, you are my next door neighbor's 18 year old child… also known as my lover."

Harvey nodded, "That works."

"They're gone, kinda…" Selina mumbled

The trio watched Harley and her date smash each other against the wall and lock lips.

"That's kinda gross…" Harvey grumbled.

"You guys are gross," Selina rolled her eyes.

"Let's go," Harvey growled moving down the row.

Harvey, Selina, and Ivy were all standing outside the theatre looking for the Porsche.

"Where'd you park it?" Selina asked.

"I forgot," Harvey sighed.

Ivy closed her eyes and took the keys from Harvey; she pressed the alarm and followed the beeping from the Porsche. Harvey took his keys back and sat in the driver's seat.

Selina ran to sit in the front seat.

Ivy grabbed her arm, "The girlfriend gets the front seat."

Selina pouted and sat in the back.

"We ready to go?" Harvey asked.

"Can we stop at the liquor store?" Selina asked.

"Yeah sure, whatever," Harvey muttered pulling out of the parking lot.

Suddenly something smacked against the car. Everyone in the car let out a shriek.

"Oh shit! You hit a dog!" Ivy screamed.

"Or a cat!" Selina looked on the verge of tears.

Harvey rolled his eyes, "I'm sure it was nothing."

This time the loud banging came from Selina's window.

Selina let out a yelp, "And now it's back from the dead to take revenge!"

Harvey turned around to face Selina and gave her a face that made her sink into her seat.

Another smack on the window, "Guys! Open up!"

"It can talk?" Ivy asked.

Selina looked out the window, "Aw shit… its Harley."

Harley frowned, "Uh I heard that."

Selina unlocked the door so Harley could open it.

"Hey guys I need a ride," Harley grinned opening the back door of the car and sitting next to Selina.

"What the hell Harley!" Harvey yelled at her, "You don't hit the Goddamn car! You aren't even allowed in the Goddamn car!"

"Aw! Don't make me catch up with Anthony!"

Harvey rested his chin on the steering wheel, "Fine. This one last time."

"What damage can I do in the back seat?"

"Wait a sec," Selina stopped, "How did you know we were here."

"I saw you two at the restaurant, then I saw you guys when Anthony and I came into the theatre. I figured it'd be easier than having Anthony drop me off."

Ivy's lip tightened into a straight line, "I thought we were so sneaky."

Selina sighed and patted Ivy's shoulder, "Its ok."

"So do you think he likes me?" Harley asked.

Ivy nodded, "He's totally into you."

"Oh yeah, he wants to claim your panties," Selina agreed.

Harvey looked at Selina in the mirror, "Seriously Selina."

"Oh please, don't tell me when you and Ivy first dated you didn't want to get into her pants," Selina smirked at Harvey.

"More like get into her plants," Harley smirked.

Harvey snickered, "Oh God…"

Ivy laughed, "Harley, shut up!"

Selina giggled, "Ew!"

Harvey smirked, "We're going to the liquor store."

"Why?" Harley asked.

"To celebrate your date and to celebrate getting into ladies pants… or plants."

Harley smiled, "I like that celebration."

Harvey snickered, "Her plants."

Ivy looked at Harvey and smiled, "Harley you are one sick bitch."

Harley giggled, "Her plants…"

FIN


End file.
